nostalgia, recollection, remniscence.

This is the 101th entry, which only proves that i'm really good at crapping.
Took alot of time before i finally settled down to write some words,
for i thought it should at least, be meaningful :)

I cracked my head, and decided. I shld probably use this time putting pieces together, to decide what i really want to do with my life. Do some recollection & fixing things up.

I learnt the big big differences that holds btw;
What i want, what i can, what i am capable of, what i'm allowed to, what i should/not.



When i was younger, I had big big dreams of what i want to do when i grow up. I guess everyone had their very own piece of fantasy. I remember when i was 10 i used say things like, I wanna build a 4 stories tall mansion with basement and swimming pool and everyone in the family could stay together, buy everyone lambos, buy myself a grandpiano. It started out with 3 stories and i drew the floor plan and shown mom&dad where they would sleep in and i realised i didnt had enough rooms for my sisters so i added the 4th story and the basement :) Of cos, i have been much of a have-fun freak since young, i had many rooms for latenight parties and all the saunas & jakuz.. indoor pool, a maid for every different chore.. Then when i was a lil older, such extravagencies from jackiechan movies got knocked out of my head and i wanted to be a policewomen. A vet? Then it was this time when i was 12, i thought of how nice it would be if i was a dolphin, a mermaid, a unicorn, catwoman, or even be part of the powerpuff girls. It would be great if i had magical powers like the charmed, & i remember the days when i try moving the tissue paper with char reciting some spells we found online. -.- & we always force ourselves to believe it moved. guess it might have just been the wind, or if i really had powers.. Becareful, i'll turn you into a tadpole! ;) *grin

Those days, you would call them foolishness, naive, plain simple;
but within all the childhood fairy tales, we as children had a heart full of hope and faith that we believe what is said to be myth&legends would come true. But such passion and beliefs die as we get more and more exposed to how cruel the reality world is, how harsh and difficult.


By the end of secondary school, dreams became a lil more practical. No more whooha about trying to fly without wings, or to live under the waters, i wanted to be a entrepreneur. Probably have a little cafe of my own, spending cookies&milk time away with piles of cushions and books.

Now, such dreams seems so difficult and far-fetched. The competitiveness drowns the creativity. For one time, i was totally lost with what i would do after graduation, but i guess it all became clear after some chat with my parents. :) Thank God for that. I've also learnt that, many a times, what i want to do is not what i would end up doing. For some reason, things does end up the way you have never expected it to be... at least for me.


Since my further has more or less been planned, i shall fully utilise my time. I'll go all way out to have fun for the next three yrs, further my studies, have fun taking part-times, giggle&bitch, spend my parent's money, travel as much as i can at least twice a yr and when im done for the 3 yrs, i'll pack these joy and settle down to work really hard. I've planned alternatives :) lols, i know i'm being the typical ahsoh me. But I need to have backup plans. =)

If my grades get me into a local uni, i'll do marketing. If its SIM (dunno why everyone's being very passive about it) i think i'll just go ahead to do marketing.
If my grades arent good enough for a local uni, it depends if my parents are willing to send me overseas. And i've decided it shall be State University of Arizona, Pheonix.
If not, i'll do smt which i love to, in a private uni, smt totally unrelated to what i've been trained to. And i would do theatre arts, or visual communications, or music, all of which i love at laselle. =) Let God set the paths.

After 3 yrs of mischief and to continue having fun as a kid, i'll need to settle down and work. Mom&dad wants to retire soon, guess they are tired working so hard so long. :) So before i take on the responsibilities and pressure, allow me to fantasize a lil and plan all the fun i chld have..


I've planned for a short wk holiday at somewhere nearby after graduation like Thailand/Langkawi with my friends to spend some time. Thailand because Cheryl & i are crazy over it. Dunno why also. Langkawi because i'll save money on the hotels, get dad to sponsor. lols. Don't wanna go hongkong,.... india? NehS!~not china again! Even though Jim says he pay half of the air ticket for me to go Beijing over the 2wks break i have in dec, huhney says she'll let me stay with her. arrghhsS! i'll so miss u 2 when u guys are off to mainland.. How bout Japan? i can't afford. So i guess, Thailand is a pretty gd choice afterall. It'll be gd if pegdear comes along. I would really love to go wakeboarding at Batam sometime. Dad just didnt feel right about the rioting and whoohas. Weird eh. And they actually allow me to go to china or the states. So, i'll be traveling states for probably 1-2mths in april to spend some crazy times doing road trips with my bestestfriends and check out the uni and pay a visit to my sister and by the end of it, it'll be just nice for entry to uni. For a long term plan, i would really wanna travel Europe in 2009 and probably stay in Aussie for awhile in 2010 if my sister ends up there.

Reub: It'll be good if u'll fly down to the states to pay me a visit, go do crazy stuffs.. We'll roll up in sleeping bags in my sis's living room. haha! But you'll do the driving & i'll sleep, i'll do the partying while u watch my back, we'll go for le miserable & u pay. LOL.. but really =) i wouldnt be the slightest mad if you chose Him over me and give it all a miss.

Cheryl: I know you'll pack your bags and passport and run away from home over the 2mths with me. But really, i don't want your dad to condemn me after that. still i love for you to go.. lol. Aiya! im soo contradicted. Hmmms. i guess i'll still op for you running away from home to elope with me! hahah.. huney Love u soo much u know. Aiyooo~ you go china find cheena boyfriend i how? though i know u wont. But what if you find a angmor staying in china? Aiya!!! Jealous~

Jim: eh bf, dont always grumble say i blog for cheryl nvr blog for u lar. =) I'll love to go on a holiday with you.. AND BEHAVE YOURSELF IN MAINLAND. you know i've got many many many many and i mean many eyes watching. Haha. Have fun & enjoy independence. Learn to do the chores, it's free maids-training session and when you're back you'll be the Maria instead. HooHoohooo!! Den you can sing, "...let me do the dishes in our kitchen sing...". Cause you'll learn to wash them clean right rather den sprinkling water when i'm trying to clean -.- and say neh i did the dishes. Wahahaha...
muahhs! =)


P/S: Qiqi, i remember the pack we made when we were 12, to travel to Barcelona together bagpacking. I still remember i've actually made my dad signed a approval letter which we wrote on this white piece of paper. I missed you soo much =)